I have never been good at saying goodbye, letting go. It’s something that I struggle with. Because letting go means it’s over, gone. Saying goodbye releases whatever it was into the world with no guarantees. And that’s scary to me. I like to be in control, I like to hold the reins and know exactly what’s going on and when it is. I like to be able to change my mind if I want to. Maybe that’s a character flaw I need to work on.
My whole reason for even bringing this up is I have just ordered my own personal copies of Effeminate Earth. There’s no more changing, tweaking, perfecting. This is it. And that’s scary. What if I made a mistake? What if it isn’t everything I had hoped it would be? There’s no going back now. Somewhere in a factory far away, my manuscripts are being churned into books.
I’ve been working on this since November of last year. That may not seem like a long time, but I’ve put hours upon hours of my blood, sweat, and tears into this. I’ve created this from the ground up. And now, just all of a sudden, nothing. Is this what it’s like watching your kid move out? Probably not. I’m probably just being over-dramatic. But still…
My point stands. I can’t stop it now. The ball is rolling downhill and picking up speed and now I just have to stand back and watch as it either crashes and burns or takes off and flies.
Does anyone else experience this? Am I the only one?
I think I might have postpartum depression…but for books…? Is that a thing? Well, it is now.
Anyway, in other news, I have a couple of book signings set up! Wahoo! Three to be exact. Isn’t that crazy?
Basically, I stormed in, threw a few copies of my books at the managers, and then screamed, “LET ME HAVE A BOOK SIGNING OR ELSE!!!” And they were so terrified that they quivered a little nod and said yes.
Okay, okay, maybe that’s not what happened.
Actually everyone we’ve approached about my book has been really kind. One of the venues we didn’t even ask for, they just offered. Perks of living in a small town?
Either way, it’s super cool and I’m ecstatic.
Thanks for Reading!
Julia E. Flowers